"I was gonna try to write something funny."
"You are a very good 'try-er', but normally I only hang with 'do-ers'. So make it fast, fucktard."
"Thank You for the vultures outside my window this morning. So it's coming? For real?"
"Yeah, end of next week. Maybe. But only if you quit pleasuring yourself while scoping the fat chicks in the parking lots at Cracker Barrels."
"I'll try, my Lord."