"Welcome to Miami."
"Thanks, but Molly can always be found in Miami. You know that."
"Yeah, but Ultra Music Fest, this is your big weekend."
"True. I'm here in a big, big way this weekend."
"So, any plans?"
"Well, it's too early to say for sure, but chances are I'll no doubt kill a few people. It won't be entirely my fault. The heat will help. A car may be involved. Somebody might jump off a building or two, and I'll get blamed. The usual. No big deal."
"Tell me about Ultra. Who's performing?"
"You want the whole list? I gotta warn you, it's long."
"Lay it on me."
"ABOVE & BEYOND
ARMIN VAN BUUREN
NEW WORLD PUNX
BASEMENT JAXX LIVE
CHASE AND STATUS
EMPIRE OF THE SUN
ERIC PRYDZ PRESENTS HOLO
THE GLITCH MOB
SUB FOCUS LIVE
KILL THE NOISE
I SEE MONSTAS
PAUL VAN DYK
SANDER VAN DOORN
SUNNERY JAMES & RYAN MARCIANO
TALE OF US
"Holy shit. That is seriously depressing. I have read that list four times now, and I do not recognize a single name. Not one single name. Yet, as we speak, there are a quarter million people in Miami shelling out $600 a ticket to see these performers. This makes me feel old, really old. Damn it to Hell, Molly. I've become just the kind of loser old person I swore I'd never be: irrelevant, clueless, unhip, and completely out of touch with what the cool kids are listening to. I suck. I hate myself."
"I thought you were going to say that, so your pal Molly has a surprise for you. I am going to play every tune, and every lyric, from every performer at the 2014 Ultra Music Fest. So you'll be all caught up with, and hip to, the fabulous sounds of this exciting new generation of music."
"Thanks Molly, you've always been there for me when I needed to feel better about myself. But I'm down to my last two packs of Marlboros, and playing every tune, and every lyric, from every performer at the 2014 Ultra Music Fest will take days."
"Actually, no. More like less than 15 seconds: