“Is it Saturday yet?”
“No Bob, it’s only Friday. Man, you’re really excited to see Larry Tatum.”
“Hell yeah. The dude is a 10th degree blackbelt. For real. That’s like, more bad ass than Jeremy Renner Jason Bourne, Matt Damon Jason Bourne and Daniel Craig James Bond combined. Are you gonna ask him my question?”
“You know, the one I asked you last night? While you were watching what the NY Times called ‘...the best blown save in Yankees history?’"
“No Bob, I am not going to ask Larry Tatum if he thinks he could defeat the Borg all by himself.”
“Well, for one thing, as Gumby pointed out several days ago, only Honey BooBoo can defeat the Borg. And for another, Larry Tatum is Carol’s sensei. His being here is a big deal, and I plan on according him an inordinate amount of respect. Out of respect for him, and especially out of respect for Carol.”
“And because he’s a 10th Degree Blackbelt.”
“Yes Bob. Because he’s a 10th Degree Blackbelt, and that makes him one of maybe three or four people on the planet who could kick anybody’s ass. Anywhere, any time. We’re talking Bruce Lee level skills.”
“Mad nunchuck skills too, I bet.”
“Probably. And bow hunting skills. Maybe even computer hacking skills.”
“You think he could take Rex in a fight?”
“Rex, founder of Rex Kwan Do?”
“Yeah, you should ask Larry Tatum if he has the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma and the wisdom of a man.”
“Bob, I’m not quite sure you realize what a big deal it is to meet Larry Tatum, and witness his mastery of the martial arts. Or what a big deal this is to Carol. This is Carol’s sensei. Kinda like how Jerry was your sensei.”
“You should wear your “Vote for Pedro” shirt to the event."
“No, Bob, I will not be wearing my “Vote for Pedro” shirt to the event.”